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Former Premier League referee David Coote has shared his story of navigating personal and professional challenges during his career, revealing how the fear of coming out as gay and the pressures of officiating contributed to moments of personal turmoil.
Coote, 42, who officiated over 100 top-flight games, was dismissed by the Professional Game Match Officials Limited (PGMOL) in December after incidents involving inappropriate behavior and breaches of his employment contract. In his first interview since the dismissal, Coote spoke openly about the struggles that led to his downfall.
"I’m gay, and I’ve struggled with being proud of who I am for a long time," Coote told The Sun. "I hid my emotions as a young referee and kept my sexuality a secret — qualities that may have helped on the pitch but were detrimental to my well-being as a person."
A Career Shaped by Secrecy and Pressure
Coote admitted that concealing his identity created a "pressure cooker" of emotions. He only came out to his parents at 21 and his friends at 25. Throughout his career, he faced relentless abuse as a referee, which made the thought of revealing his sexuality even more daunting. "Adding that layer of vulnerability would have been too much," he explained.
The former referee also reflected on how the demanding schedule of officiating contributed to his struggles. In the 2023-24 season, Coote officiated over 90 matches, including assignments at the European Championships and the Olympics. He described the unrelenting workload as overwhelming, saying, "There was no opportunity to stop. The physical and psychological demands are immense."
Turning to Coping Mechanisms
Coote admitted to making poor decisions during this period, including using cocaine as a way to "escape." In November, footage surfaced allegedly showing him snorting a white substance during the Euros, an incident he now deeply regrets. "I don’t recognize myself in that video," Coote said. "I was in a dark place, and I’m ashamed of the choices I made."
In addition to the drug-use scandal, Coote faced backlash after a separate video showed him making derogatory comments about former Liverpool manager Jürgen Klopp. He has since apologized for his remarks, attributing them to a moment of poor judgment while under the influence.
"I take full responsibility for my actions, which fell far below what is expected of a referee at this level," Coote said in a statement. "I’m truly sorry for any offense caused and for the negative attention it brought to the sport I love."
A Call for Support in Football
Coote’s experiences highlight the toll that public scrutiny and abuse can take on officials. He revealed that during his career, he and his late mother received death threats, leading to security measures at his home. He hopes his story sheds light on the mental health challenges faced by referees and the need for greater support within the game.
"Referees are human beings, not just officials," Coote emphasized. "The abuse we face doesn’t just stay on the pitch—it affects our lives. I hope the football community can work towards creating a more supportive and understanding environment."
Moving Forward
Since his dismissal, Coote has sought therapy and is focused on rebuilding his life. He remains hopeful about contributing to football in the future, using his experiences to advocate for mental health awareness and inclusivity in the sport.
To others facing similar struggles, Coote offered this advice: "Seek help and talk to someone. Bottling things up only makes it worse. I’ve learned that the hard way, but I’m working to be a better version of myself now."
As he reflects on his journey, Coote is determined to move forward with a renewed sense of purpose. "I’ve made mistakes, but I’m taking steps to prioritize my mental and physical well-being. This experience has been tough, but it’s also given me the chance to reevaluate what truly matters."
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